To: The Secretary, Nicelake Anglers Society
it is with deep regret that I must inform you that I am considering resigning my membership of the society.
In a world of ever declining standards and morals I have always looked to the society as a haven of correct thinking and the Nicelake as a sanctuary of decency in an ever more corrupt and morally bankrupt world.
it is with deep disgust then that I must inform you that my afternoon’s fishing, neigh perhaps my ability to fish that lake ever again, was overtaken and ruined by what I can only describe as the most wanton and debauched spectacle of lascivious, prurient and downright filthy behaviour it has ever been my misfortune to witness.
It was bad enough when those four individuals appeared on the lakeside across from where I was fishing. They made no attempt to whisper or tread soft and surely must have upset the fish, but then, and I swear I am not making this up. I saw it with my own two eyes, the young strumpet began to remove her clothes.
And no sir. She did not stop until she was completely, utterly and shamelessly naked.
Naked I say!
Showing absolutely everything to all and sundry!
What the fish thought I cannot imagine, but for my part I was shocked into immobility and could do nothing but stare at that indecent spectacle. Indeed it was several minutes before I had the presence of mind to take out my binoculars to confirm what my eyes were telling me.
But no sir, that was not the end of it.
A man and a women, far from pressing her to cover up her shameless display, took out cameras and began to photograph the harlot while the other man held some devilish device that repeatedly emitted flashes of bright light.
I can only think that it was this device that was responsible for the poor woman’s plight, perhaps it was some hypnotic device?
But whatever it was that kept her in their thrall must have started to wear off, because and again sir I swear this is the truth and not a word of exaggeration.
The man put down his camera and taking out rope from his bag tied her up – Yes sir, right there on fishing jetty 21 that brazen hussy was bound in rope and forced to submit to more photographs.
At last i though the ordeal, both hers and mine was over when I heard the sound of a helicopter and looking up saw a police helicopter immediately overhead.
I thought for sure their degenerate game was up and the woman would be rescued, but no.
After circling the debauchers three times, no doubt with its cameras zoomed in close, it moved off and left her and me to our plight.
It was then that the man with the flashing device tore off his shirt and grabbing the poor woman rived her around by her hair and mauled her shamefully.
That was enough for me. I could stand it no longer I knew I must do something.
So I hurriedly packed away my gear and left.
I feel dirty just for writing of such salacious doings, and so you will understand sir that I now demand you do something about it.
Yours, still in shock.
Disgusted of York.
On receipt of this letter society officials asked a local member to visit the location described in search of evidence supporting these claims. That member found a number of Polaroid photographs that seem to support our members description of events on that day. These images are reproduced here. Understandably, having been left in the undergrowth for a number of days, these images are of rather poor quality, but they clearly show activities not considered appropriate on a fishing jetty.
Those members that are also members of the police fishing club, can see the related aerial video on the police club web site.